What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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