I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize