i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
