My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
