I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
