4 words: hood of his car
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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