everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
