You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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