Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
