I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
