u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
