I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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