Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
