ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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