just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
