All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
