It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
