If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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