Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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