Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
