So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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