Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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