haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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