she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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