You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize