Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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