She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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