Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
