The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
