oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
