dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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