I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize