is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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