So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
