Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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