Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I need moral support for this bender
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
