Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
