side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
