What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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