The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
