that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
