Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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