she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
