we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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