I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
