hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
