im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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