dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
