Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
