So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
