Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
