Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize