oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
