She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
