Non-Jews are for practice
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
