I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
