So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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