i think i have herpe
just one?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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