she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
