Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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