Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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